Premise:
In a recent video published by Simon Sinek, he talks about how leaders can show and own their vulnerability with confidence. You can watch the short video here.
He makes an important point. As leaders, we are responsible to model the behaviour that we expect from our teams. If we are not able to show our vulnerability, we can’t expect any of them to show theirs.
So, the question then is how can we be vulnerable as a leader:
Develop Self awareness:
In order for us to be vulnerable, we need to know when we are struggling and what are we struggling with. We can develop the self awareness by creating space in our daily schedule to reflect on the day.
We can reflect on what we struggled with (apart from other things like what we learnt, what we accomplished, etc). And if we do struggle with something, why are we struggling with it and what is the underlying emotion (frustration, fear, anger, sadness, overwhelm, etc) that we are experiencing.
Sharing it with our team:
Once we know what we are feeling, it is now time to share this with the team. As with everything else, it is important for us as leaders, to first read the room and find out if there is anyone who seems like they need some support and encouragement from us.
Once we have taken care of them, we can then share our emotion with the team. We could typically use the structure – Of late, I am feeling __________ (Emotion) due to or because of __________ (reason). Add any other relevant information to this sentence.
What is our expectation:
Once we have been vulnerable with our teams with our emotions, we need to also let them know what we expect from them. If we need help from them, we clearly call out for the help. If we need ideas, we call that out. If we only need emotional support, we call that out and be open to the help and support that they provide.
The whole reason to be vulnerable is not only to model the behaviour but also accept the help and support that is being offered. This is the other side of the coin of being vulnerable, being open to accept the help and support provided.
What not to do:
We need to be wary of unloading our emotions unfiltered on our colleagues. That is not being vulnerable. It is just being emotional and self obsessed.
It is not a good idea to just stop at sharing our emotions without laying out what we want or expect from the team. Also, it is not a good idea to do this too often.
It is not a good idea to use being vulnerable as an excuse to bitch and moan about other leaders or colleagues. That will do a lot more harm to our leadership and the performance of our teams than anything else.
In conclusion:
In conclusion, being vulnerable as a leader has multiple benefits. It not only allows us to model a behaviour that we want our teams to exhibit but at the same time, gets us help in overcoming the challenges that we are facing as leaders at the same time. This also enables a culture that expects and rewards people to be vulnerable and be taken care of.
There are many studies that prove that once we help someone, the chances are that we form a bond with them and it is more likely that we will help them again and usually the scale of what we help them with increases over time.
I strongly believe that any idea that solves multiple problems at the same time is a good idea that is worth spending time on and implementing in our lives. This is one such idea.
