In a recent post on HBR (https://hbr.org/2021/01/the-secret-to-building-resilience), authors Rob Cross, Karen Dillon and Danna Greenberg talk about building resilience based on their yet unpublished research.
They argue and I quote,
A well-developed network of relationships can help us rebound from setbacks by:
– Helping us shift work or manage surges
– Helping us to make sense of people or politics in a given situation
– Helping us find the confidence to push back and self advocate
– Helping us see a path forward
– Providing empathic support so we can release negative emotions
– Helping us to laugh at ourselves and the situation
– Reminding us of the purpose or meaning in our work
– Broadening us as individuals so that we maintain perspective when setbacks happen
Rob Cross, Karen Dillon and Danna Greenberg
While most people think that resilience is an individual sport, based on my personal experience, I strongly believe that the environment that we live in also plays a significant role in determining how gritty we are and how resilient we are.
The typical story we hear of gritty and resilient folks are that of individuals who overcame overwhelming odds to success. However, the most gritty and resilient people’s story never makes it to the mainstream conversation at all.
This is so because it is not interesting enough.
So what, if a single mom or dad is working against odds to put their children to school – that is what is expected of them.
So what, if a young man is battling depression and still trying to make a living and support his family – that is what is expected.
What is not expected is if the child ends up in one of the Ivy league schools or the young man somehow becomes a millionaire or a celebrity of any sorts. That is what is covered in news and since that is all we read and watch, that is what we end up believing.
In my experience, the seeds of grit and resilience is within all of us but the strength from the nourishing care of the environment, of the people who live with us, who tell us that things will be better, that it is important to keep putting one step ahead at a time and that not to stop believing in ourselves.
These can be the people in our immediate surrounding or can be imaginary friends or mentors. We need these to sustain our grit and resilience over a period of time that could stretch to years.
What do you think? Do you have people in your life who have your back? Do you have people in your network who give you hope, who tell you that you can do whatever you want to, be whoever you want to be and that things will change and good times are not far ahead? If so, you are lucky my friends and I think it is time that we thank these people for their contribution to our lives and decide to be that guy/gal for someone else who needs this at this moment in their lives.
We humans as a collective are much more resilient and gritty than we are as individuals. In this moment of crisis, I believe that this truer than ever. So, lets get together and become grittier and resilient together.
As the saying goes,
This too shall pass…
