I first came across this phrase “Above the Line” when Matt Church used it in one of his sessions and since then continues to use it on an ongoing bases. This led me to dig a bit deeper and find a book titled, “Above the Line”, in which authors Stephen Klemich and Mara Klemich share the following, and I quote,
Welcome to the line, where so often the best of yourself is pitted against the worst of yourself.
– From the book “Above the Line”
They go on to talk about the fact that our society, workplace and all the different pressures of life and expectations from life constantly exert a force and pull us below the line and our authentic self, the greater character within, is trying to exert a force to pull us above the line.
Just like with gravity, it is easier for something to fall down (requires less energy) and much harder to move something up (requires a lot more energy), same goes with this concept. It takes a lot more energy (a combination of intention, attention, action and reflection) to stay above the line. All you need to do is take away this energy and we easily slip to below the line behaviour.
This is probably the Yin and Yang or the Prakruti and Purusha (according to a branch of Hindu philosophy) or the good vs bad. We can also think of this as the heart beat pattern. The heart beats on the ECG that show up can be thought of as mimicking the constant play or tussle between our own struggle to stay above the line and slipping below the line.
According to Hindu philosophy, there is potential for greatness in every being, including you and me, just like a seed of a mango tree has the potential to grow into a great mango tree. In order for us to convert this potential into reality, there is a lot that we need to do. There is a combination of things that need to come together for this potential to be realised – the right environment (internal and external), the right teacher or mentor or guide who knows and understands the process and most importantly the will to realise the potential.
As Nelson Madela put it so well, and I quote,
“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.
I learn that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear”
– Nelson Mandela
So, in the tradition of what Nelson Mandela is asking us to do and in fact all the wisdom traditions ask us to do is to manifest all the potential that we have within ourselves and shine as the best version of ourselves, and in other words, learn to and live consistently “Above the line”.
In order for us to stay consistently above the line, we need to do the following:
Resist being pulled below the line
We all know that human beings are controlled by our emotions. So, if we are to think about the emotions that would keep us below the line, I can think of the emotions that stem from fear and insecurity, while all the emotions that stem from love and compassion would help us stay above the line. The authors talk about “Fear and Pride” as being the emotions that keep us below the line and “Humility and Love” as being the emotions that help us stay above the line.
They also share a 3 step process to move from below the line to above the line:
Identify: Become aware that we have moved to below the line.
SBTB: Stop, Breathe, Think and then Behave – decide what to do in the moment (from humility and love)
Plan: Think and plan how will we respond to a similar situation in the future (If possible, visualise it).
– From the Book “Above the Line”
Know who I am:
All self growth happens only when we become aware of the possibility of the same. Same goes here. The first step is to look inwards and find out what more about who we are and what do we want to stand for (Authenticity) and at the same time realise the fact that we can continue to transform (transforming) ourselves to manifest our innate potential to be great.
Another way to think about this is to know that irrespective of whether we want to or not, we are constantly transforming. As long as we are able to direct that transformation in the direction that seems and feels authentic to ourselves, we are doing well. The authors talk about six tips that can help us amplify our authentic and transforming behaviour:
Turn a breakdown into a breakthrough. We can identify the typical below the line behaviour that we are inclined to and we can then learn how to transform that behaviour into an above the line behaviour and then visualise, practice or do whatever works for us to make that the default behaviour in that situation, the next time around. Rinse and repeat.
Trade up from insecurity. The more insecure and fearful we are the more we tend to resort to below the line behaviour, So, can we reframe this insecurity and fear into humility and love? That will help us move away from below the line behaviour and towards Above the line behaviour.
Find out where we are strong and amplify that. Find out why we are strong in these and amplify that too.
Anchor to values. What do we value the most? Again the question of self-aware. Once we identify the most important value and one that corresponds to Above the line behaviour, when in doubt (otherwise as well), we could just ask ourselves, what would someone who had this value do in this situation and act accordingly.
Truth teller – Be one, Find one. Lying is one of the most common below the line behaviour. So, let’s stop lying – to ourselves and to others. At the same time, let us also find someone who can always tell us the truth, irrespective of how we might feel about it and make it a pact with them. We need to not only speak the truth but also be ready to hear it.
Being authentic-in-the-moment. If we just decide that we will be authentic in just this one moment and the next one and the next one, we realise that we are authentic all the time. The moment to start could be a minute, could be when we are in office or when we are with our loved one’s.
Know where we are going
If we don’t know where we are going, as the saying says, any path will take us there or no path will take us there, depending upon which version you want to believe. It is super critical to know where we are going and be intentional and purposeful about it. They share these steps that can allow us to increase our intentional and purposeful direction:
Find your direction – in big and small things. A lot of times, we put in a lot of time and effort to identify our direction on big goals and miss doing the same in the little things. And these little things have a significant impact in how we show up every single day, in every single meeting and having a clear direction in these small things will go a long way in our journey.
Trading up from Controlling and Striving to achieving. In our pursuit of excellence and success, there are times when we tend to become controlling and start trying too hard to succeed. We also get too attached to the results, both of which lead to below the line behaviours. So, it is crucial that we learn how to achieve without getting too attached to the results or becoming too controlling. We learn to continue to do the best work that we can and practice accepting the results.
Be ruthless with time – Gracious with People. Too often, we let the pressure of time drive behaviours that are not effective and get the better of us. While it is super critical to be efficient and ruthless with our time (it is probably the only non-renewable resource we have) but at the same time not allow the pressure of time affect how we behave with people around us. We need to be mindful of our behaviour with people to be effective and ruthless with our time to be efficient at what we want to do. Understanding this difference and acting accordingly could have an outsized impact on our achievements.
Connecting with others
One of the reasons why we need to treat people differently from how we treat time is because we are a social animal and we work with other people and as leaders, we work through others. In order for us to be able to do so, it is critical that we are able to connect with those we lead. Once we are able to connect with them, we get to know them, their aspirations, their challenges, what makes them tick, what makes them stumble and get to know what they want from their leaders and what they really need.
The below the line behaviour that might look like connecting with others is seeking approval. The constant need to seek approval is usually a result of fear. The above the line behaviour in this case is our ability to connect and relate to them. We do this by being empathetic and encouraging. One way to be empathetic is to ask the question “What’s happening for you”
The biggest gift that we can give to others is to encourage them or in other words to give them courage, so that they can go after their dreams or they can aspire to live the life they want to live or to give them the courage needed to move to above the line behaviour. If there is nothing else that we do but genuinely and consistently encourage the behaviour we want to see in the people we lead, you will be surprised how easy it is to get them to exhibit more of that behaviour.
A good pneumonic device that the authors suggest when connecting with others is to listen to the WIFE:
“W” stands for work. Be interested in their work, their aspirations and challenges at their work. Try to understand all the different aspects of their work, the work environment and different work tools.
“I” stands for Interests. Be interested in their interests outside their work. Connect around common interests, hobbies or anything else that they are interested in, which is not work.
“F’ stands for family and friends. Connect around family. Talk about partners, children, parents, siblings, friends, place of birth, schooling, higher education, etc. Find out if you have common friends or have family members who are friends, etc.
“E: stands for Entertainment. Connect around and talk about what they do to entertain themselves. Talking about entertainment is an easy thing to slip into and also tells a lot about the personality of the person we are talking to. Do they watch movies, TV series, music, dance, drama or sports?
One thing to always remember is why we are connecting with the people and are interested in them.
The above the line version of why we do this is so that we can connect with them at a deeper level so when we work with them, we can create a deeper bond and can help them in any which way possible.
The below the line version of why we do this is so that we can manipulate them. While the action remains the same but the intent determines whether we are operating above the line or below the line. Stay above the line.
We need to remember that no significant achievement has been made alone. It always takes a team and the team is made up of people, who have aspirations, families, challenges, hobbies and crave for deep connections and their own purpose to serve (whether they know or not).
And more so when we are leading. As leaders, our success depends on the success of the people we are leading.
Growing with others
This is possibly the highest order of business that we as leaders can engage on. Once we realise that we can not grow alone and the only way for us to continue to grow is by enabling everyone around us to grow. We grow together.
The way we do this is by being deeply compassionate and act as a coach. The more we enable the growth of the people that we work with, the more we grow as a person. This is true at many levels, like organisationally, financially, philosophically, psychologically, politically and intellectually.
The more important the work that we are doing, the more deeper our connection and relationship needs to be with the people with whom we are working. The deeper this relationship is, the easier it gets for us to help them fulfil their aspirations, overcome their obstacles, encourage them to continue to learn and grow. The more we are able to do all of this for others, the more we grow, with them.
In conclusion:
In conclusion, I will simply say that being above the line is simple but not easy. Being above the line is hard but fulfilling. Being above the line is to be and do good. Being above the line is hard work but makes hard work easier. While some times the action that we perform are exactly the same but the reason why we act that way usually determines whether we are being above the line or being below the line. So, lets fix the intention and then take the action.
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