As leaders, when we engage with our teams, we usually communicate with them in one of three modes and the mode that we use most often has a significant impact on the team and the kind of culture we create within the team.
Here are the three modes of communications:
Declaration (Tell):
In this mode, we declare something to be a fact or truth or something that we want our teams to accept as it is. When we are using this kind of communication, we are typically engaged in a one way communication. This is all about sharing our perspective without being open to questioning or debating.
Instruction (Show):
In this mode, we are usually showing our teams to do something in a certain way. When we are using this mode of communication, we are in the teacher mode and are teaching our teams some sort of skills. Sometimes, this mode is about showing and telling before they can question the leader. This mode is most effective when we want to impart a lesson from our skillsets that they don’t already know. This is all about “how to”.
Question (Ask):
In this mode, we are trying to listen and learn. This is a way to build connections and getting to know the people we lead as well. This is our way of exhibiting our curiosity. This mode of communication also enables us to check the effectiveness of the other modes of communication we have used in the past. This also enables us to check in on the progress we are making on a specific goal and if there are any challenges that we need to overcome in order to make progress.
Conclusion:
While as a leader it is inevitable that we use all the three modes of communication, I believe that the use of the first two modes (Declaration and Instruction) needs to be overshadowed by our use of the third mode (Questioning).
As leaders, if we spend most of our time in declaration mode, we end up with a team who potentially will not take initiative and will expect their leaders to continue to instruct them on what needs to be done.
As leaders, if we spend most of our time in instruction mode, we end up constantly exhausting ourselves and our teams. There is a time for instruction but it can not be the only thing we do as leaders.
As leaders, if we spend most of our time in the Question mode, assuming that we genuinely want to understand, learn and take action based on what we learn, we get to know more about our teams and the progress we are making in our goals. The question mode should then dictate what we do in the other two modes.
